Reinforcing Relations – 1

(Part 1 of 4)

Happiness is an experience that everyone lives for. You cannot experience happiness if you lack harmony in your relationships, even though you may possess a big house, luxury cars, fat bank balance. For spiritual stability, you will need mental poise; so take care of your relations. Here is a mantra of eight letters. R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N. Each letter will unfold the keys to healthy relationships.

R – Remember

Living in a fast-paced world, you barely have any quality time for your near and dear ones. If you are deriving happiness from your relationships, then giving back happiness becomes your duty. Remember them for their slightest contribution. Don’t take anyone for granted saying ‘this is his duty.’ No, it is their love. Love is the spice in every relationship.

When you meet people and call them by their name or remember them by some incident or contribution they have made, you will connect with them immediately and win their hearts.

After the war against Ravana, Lord Rama expressed gratitude to every monkey who had helped in building the bridge over the sea. He also acknowledged the squirrels for their contribution. They would dive into water, make themselves wet, roll on the sand, come to the bridge-site and shake to shed the sand particles. Lord Rama caressed them with His fingers and even today Indian squirrels have marks of the Lord’s love on their back as three stripes.

If you remember the favours showered on you by your Guru, you will be prompted to pass it on to others. And they in turn will be inspired to pass it on to yet others. This will start a chain of goodness and kindness and thus strengthen your relationship with one and all.

E – Empathise

Munshi Premchand, a Hindi writer in one of his short stories writes about a poor widow and her son. Once there was a funfair organised outside the village. The mother gave 5 rupees to the son to enjoy rides and food. When the boy returned, he told his mother that he enjoyed but not spending on himself, ‘I have seen your hands getting burnt while cooking. So I bought this pair of tongs for you. It would make me happy if I could get rid of your pain.’

Try to understand others and feel their state of mind. With elders, if you can empathise with them regards to their way of thinking, their growing incapacities, their anxiety regarding health, why they repeat the same thing again and again, etc. your relationship with them will get transformed. Many a times they want nothing but your time. See that you involve them in all family activities. They should feel everyone in the family is theirs. And they should want to engage their mind in religious pursuits not out of helplessness but out of their inner wish.

Once the dean of IIM Indore visited Pramukh Swami Maharaj in Bochasan. He was welcomed and arrangements were made for his food and rest. Pramukh Swami Maharaj inquired whether similar provisions were made for his driver. The dean shared that Pramukh Swami Maharaj taught him customer care and sensitivity that day.

When our self-interest surfaces, we favour a few specific people but when we start opening our hearts, we will become sensitive to smallest of things. The joy of it will be inexplicable. While taking care of others, you may not receive any acknowledgement or appreciation; the person you served may even feel what you did was your duty, not a favour. But you will stay very happy. And, it is a happy person who gives happiness to others.

Cars have reverse gears. On a narrow bridge where only one car can pass, two cars going in opposite directions block the traffic. Either of them can use the reverse gear. It is so simple to solve a jam, but you should be ready to back up. Understand other’s viewpoint and be sensitive. It will prevent cracks, crease and hurts in your relations.